Impressions

I’ll probably update this a few times as I remember more. I wanted to get it started before I forget everything.

Flying sucks. The week and a half cold I picked on the airplane (I will admit that Rome is a possibility) is not fun. I’m tired of coughing up phlegm, now. The rest will be in order.

Day Zero

Above average. The Rapid City airport is small, but quite nice. It has all the usual amenities, such as uncomfortable chairs and expensive food. More importantly, security is fast – at least the three times I’ve been through it.

Where are we? I’ve been through the Denver airport any number of times. We disembarked at gate B huge-number. Apparently, it has expanded since I was last there (or at least in the B concourse). The expansion is not as pretty as the original. It has lots of exposed functionality (ducts, wire chases, pipes, etc…). It is also quite long and lacking slidewalks. Good thing we were not in a hurry.

Seems nominal. I’ve heard the Fort Lauderdale airport is awful. It seemed fine to me. Apparently, car rental is a big issue, but we just took a shuttle bus to the hotel.

I’m cheap. I need to remember to bring tip cash for the shuttle bus drivers. I felt bad, but only briefly.

Day One

Oh the logistics! The piles of baggage at the port terminal was daunting. I was a bit worried about mine being lost in the shuffle, but trusted in the process (which worked out).

Patience is a virtue. Seeing the line, I thought to myself, “we’re going to be here forever.” They move people right through. It wasn’t quite constant forward motion, but very close. There was no time to put a bag down and rest. Don’t carry anything heavy in your “personal item”.

People are dumb. How hard is it to understand “take everything out of your pockets”? This applies equally to the Rome airport on the way out. Just imagine how much faster the already fast process would be if people actually followed the instructions that they were given – several times through the line and again at the metal detectors.

Woof! Getting the tracking chip – I mean Princess Medallion – was painless, although definitely not a British queue.

Deja vous. Our first cruise, ten years ago, was on the Ruby Princess. This ship was the Emerald Princess. As one would expect, they are basically the same. I just couldn’t quite remember how everything fit together.

Twin beds?!? Meh. It will do.

They did lose it! Where’s my luggage? Oh look, a tag on the door. Apparently, a pocket knife counts as a weapon. The confiscation was very good natured. Then I had luggage.

Huh? “I love your shirt,” is not something I expected to hear walking down a hallway (corridor? definitely too wide to be a “companionway”). Before the ship even left dock, we met Roy, a vivacious young woman from India working with the photography people (we later learned that she is their leader).

This will work. The nightly Latin/Ballroom dancing was in the Fusion nightclub. The dance floor is reasonably sized (big for a ship). Hardly anyone was there. Three other couples. Maybe four. Plenty of room to dance without it turning into bumper cars.

A bit early. We had reservations for a late dinner at the Crown Grille. The very first person to come to the table was the sommelier (bonus points for not needing spell-check for that). No, I don’t know what wine I want until I decide which dinner I’m having.

Could I steal one? The steak came with steak knives, which looked a lot like Buck knives. Since my knife had just been confiscated, I wondered if anyone would notice if a steak knife disappeared.

Sign from G*d. I’m not the most faithful person, so G*d tends to send signs via clue-bat. When your nose ring falls out on the first day of your trip to the Vatican, pay heed.

Not tired, yet. We had already crossed two time zones. It was quite late before I finally fell asleep.

Sea Days (the days without a port) Two through Seven.

It’s all starting to blur together, already, so I’m not going to go day by day. I’ll come back and fill this in later. I’m getting tired of typing.

Which way is Starboard? “Which way is forward?” is the same question. The staterooms are numbered such that the even numbers are on the port side and the odd numbers are on the starboard side. This means that when one gets out of the elevator, one must turn left or right. I kept turning the wrong way – for days – because I kept getting fore and aft confused. In my defense, it is a really large ship and we were in the middle.

Must do this. A party on the pool deck got a bit raucous near the end. The last song was Jump, with which I have a long relationship. The cruise director was encouraging people to jump into the pool at “Maxwell, jump”. I quickly stripped off my shirt, boots, and electronics then joined the fun. Another great memory associated with that song. Jeans are difficult to swim in, though. I later apologized the Paedro (our cabin attendant) for the puddles of black water on the bathroom floor, then promptly blamed Kevin (the cruise director).

People are impatient. In some elevators, there was wear around the frequently used elevator buttons. The most worn one: Close door. People also have bad aim. The button itself was not worn. It was the finish on the panel around/behind the button. This means people are not pressing just the button, but the wall around it. The pool deck, which is also the cafeteria deck, was number two.

Day Eight – Funchel, Madeira

Pretty. Most ports are not in particularly nice parts of town. Funchel is no exception, but the land rises quickly so the entire city was laid out before us. I wondered if there is an island-wide housing standard. Almost everything was beige with an orange roof, even commercial buildings.

Tropical. It wasn’t particularly warm, but the plants were all tropical. Tying in with “pretty”, the terraced gardens had all sorts of interesting plants growing into one another across the levels.

I’m going to fall. A jogger passed us in the street then continued onward, still on the street. I realized the sidewalks were an uneven disaster. They were also pretty with a black and white mosaic pattern. Then it drizzled a bit and they became very slick.

No Karens in Portugal. There were ashtrays on the cafe tables. I thought about buying some cigarettes, but vaping was sufficient. The cafe’s espresso tasted like everyone else’s espresso.

Done now. After wandering around for a bit and buying some – but very little – tourist junk, we walked back to the shuttle bus pickup, rode back to the ship, then spent the rest of the day aboard.

Where do they grow the grapes? Pretty much the entire face of the mountain facing the port is developed. There must be more to this island or they’d never be able to export wine. I haven’t cared enough to look it up.

Everyone lives in apartments. There were very few single family dwellings. To be fair, it is a small spit of land between a mountain and the sea, so I’m sure space is at a premium. It’s also Europe.

Rapid City is not hilly. We have a lot of hills and roads usually go around, not over. It’s flat compared to Funchel. It’s on the side of a bumpy mountain (it counts as a mountain if the clouds go around it). There are a number of bridges that cross small valleys (hollers?), as opposed to rivers, so one can go across rather than down, across, then back up.

Day Nine – Gibraltar

Not appealing. Funchel was quaint looking and tropical. Gibralter looked like a housing project slapped on the side of a mountain. I didn’t feel like finding out differently.

Busy port. By far the busiest port we stopped at. Lots of real ships doing real work, not just cruise liners.

Neat rock. As we were leaving, I saw the rock. As one would expect, it looks just like the Prudential Insurance logo, but bigger. It’s a really big rock. Did I mention that it’s big?

Sea Days Ten and Eleven

Day Twelve – Malaga, Spain

Day Thirteen – Ajaccio , Corsica

Sea Day Fourteen

I’m a pro! Oh wait, pros get paid. I paid for the photoshoot. I could be a pro model. I’ll get The Laird to give me some cash.

Sad. Packing was sad. Day by day, everything seemed normal; sometimes even a bit slow. Now it was already over!

Day Fifteen – Rome, Italy

Too early. The only day we set an alarm. The ship docked at 0600 and our excursion group was meeting at 0730.

Day Sixteen – Rome, Italy

When were setbacks invented? Everything is built right up to the narrow sidewalk.

Day Seventeen

Are we there, yet?