Call for Alpha Readers

I’ve mentioned this before, but it was buried in other things. Leaving a (somewhat self-serving) comment on According to Hoyt, I realized a dedicated landing page for it would be handy. This is that page.

I want to send out just the first half. It’s a decent stopping point.

If the feedback is “Dear G*d! What do you think you’re doing?!?!” I’d rather not have the full book written.

The image is the tentative cover (half size). The blurb:

What if your thoughts at one particular moment defined the rest of your life? What if a daydream, a fantasy, a focus on a task, an arrant wish, or a fleeting whimsy changed your life forever?

When the System arrives, it tries to be helpful, but there’s not a lot of time. The world, the entire universe, transforms based on that one moment.

Join the intrepid werewolf couple, Tom and Luke, as they try to make sense of a dangerous, violent, and very strange new world.

Gang-bangers with fireballs. Linemen throwing lightening bolts. Con-men with irresistible pitches. Sharpshooters who cannot miss. Thieves who can open any lock. Doctors who heal all wounds. Politicians whose lies cannot be discerned. Everyone’s “better”, but is that a good thing?

You Asked For It is the first book about a pack and its allies who will rise to the challenge and create something wonderful in the midst of chaos.

There is no tutorial. There is no instruction manual. Figure it out or fall behind – or die.

There is no explicit sex, but what is there is more than implied. This is made clear at the start of chapter one, by-design. If someone wants to toss the book for that reason, I’d prefer they do it sooner than later.

Some of my alpha readers are doing this for the first time. “Alpha reader” has no official definition, that I’m aware of. Something to set mutual expectations seems in order.

This is not a proof-reading request. While that sort of thing is appreciated and I’ll definitely make corrections, I’m looking for higher level feedback. Some of the questions I have:

• Does it need more plot? Quite a bit happens, but there isn’t much external motivation (other than the world ending). Our heroes are doing what they’re doing because that’s what they want to do. They’re not trying to save the world or fulfill a destiny. This gradually changes, but not so much of it here. I realized after-the-fact that this makes the book a cozy/slice-of-life story. Is it too boring? Does it need more conflict (not necessarily fighting, per se)?
• Does the pacing work? The first half covers about a month of calendar time. I tried to balance dialog – where a page is, generously, 10 minutes of clock time – with moving shit along. Is there too much dialog? Too little? Do the gaps need more filling? Do time and space fit together? Do things happen too fast? Too slowly?
• Continuity. Of course I attempted continuity, but did I succeed? Do things happen in the right order? Do rifles suddenly become shotguns (one did; I fixed it)? Do things appear and disappear when it’s convenient for me, the author, but makes no sense to the characters (I forgot they had packs for three chapters; I fixed it)?
• Characterization. Our two intrepid werewolves, Tom and Luke, are the only characters with much depth in the first half. Do they make sense? Do they behave like (somewhat) reasonable people? Are their personalities stable (I flipped them once, that I noticed; I fixed it)? If you had to guess what they’d do next, could you? would you be right?
• LitRPG balance. Too much Lit with not enough RPG? Too much RPG with not enough Lit? It’s inconsistent across chapters. Some are very one or the other based on what’s happening. Does that work? Does it seem weird to change it up? I’m tracking the stat sheets in spreadsheets. I’m not tracking damage or experience. I just handwave that and enter some rule-of-thumb numbers into formulas when I need them. Does that work?

I don’t expect everyone to have an opinion on each question. Neither is that list comprehensive. All feedback is welcome.

If you’d like to volunteer, leave a comment here or contact email me tigersizer at the evil empire gmail.com.

I’m writing it in Libre so the format will be .odt. I have not successfully gotten .epub, yet.

If you’re interested in my thoughts as I go, there’s a LitRPG Werewolves category.